Peaceful Enjoyment

I was talking about the subject of this (at the time, my next) blog at the dinner table. My beautiful daughter threw some rotini at me. I was about to scold her for it when my husband (who didn’t see our daughter’s display of affection for pasta) said, “It’s just like property laws, Peaceful Enjoyment”.

Isn’t that the truth? Isn’t that what we are all trying to day to day as we foray into public transit or order lunch at the local deli or

GO TO THE ATM.

There is nothing that drives up my blood pressure more than ignorant users of the ATM, guichet, bank machine or however you refer to the machine that dispense money. For clarity and brevity I will refer to it as ATM. So without further ado this is:

Modern Etiquette for the ATM (including Drive-Thru)

Now, let’s be clear that that I see a clear difference between the ATM drive-thru and the ATM in the bank and the ATM in a store. Actually scratch that. I can group the ATM in the store with ATM in the drive-thru.

ATM (in the bank)

1.) Please stand at least 5-7 feet from the person at the machine. In some cases this may not be possible due to lack of physical space, but when available please do so.

2.) There are polite “banking hours” for all bank machines:

• 7:30 am to 9:30 am please use only the deposit and cask back, deposit only or cash only features of the bank machines. People are rushing to work and need money for gas, for lunch, to pay the sitter or little Timmy’s field trip. Please do not clog up the works paying your Victoria Secret bill.
• 11:30am to 1:00 pm the same applies as above except people are rushing to lunch. Most of us are not the boss so we get only an hour for lunch so please don’t hold up the friggin’ line.
• 4:30 pm to 6:00pm the same applies as above except that people are rushing home or to daycare to get the kiddies. Or if it’s a nice day to a great little patio to meet some friends for pitcher of something wonderful.
• AT ALL TIMES – if there is a huge line up please do NOT update your bank book or pay huge stacks of bills

3.) Do not cut in line. Ever. It’s rude and your mother should have taught you better. Shame on you. Besides, karma’s a bitch buddy.

4.) If you cannot use the ATM without assistance please use only in the presence of a veteran user (that you have brought along with you) or go INTO the bank and request that a customer service agent help you with your transaction. Please be mindful of the time and the length of the line when you do this. A good time is 10:30 am or 2:00pm.

5.) Please, if you must sneeze or cough while using the ATM; turn your head away from the screen and keypad. Please do not touch or wipe anything on your person until you have completed your ATM transaction and out of arms distance from the ATM. If you accidentally sprayed some of your sneeze or cough on the ATM, please use a CLEAN tissue and some Purell like lotion and wipe up your DNA.

6.) A good rule for everyone is to wear gloves while using the ATM, for your own protection. Of course if it isn’t winter you are going to look like a total freak wearing gloves at the ATM.


ATM (drive-thru and in store/gas station)

This is a GRAB and Go line. Please, please use only to deposit, get cash or pay a single bill. DO NOT update your bank book EVER in these lines. Many customers of the drive-thru are people for whom it is difficult to get out of the car for one reason or another (3 babies in the back, elderly mother wants to use the bank, or handicapped driver) and you are clogging it up with your many transaction because you can’t get up off your lazy butt and go INTO the bank. Trust me; you do not want a mother with her three screaming toddlers at the ATM trying to get money while keeping the little angels from tearing the place apart or peeking at your PIN Code and reciting it for everyone to hear.

I do not mean to restrict this line to Mommies/Daddies/Caregivers, the elderly or handicapped. By all means, use this line and enjoy the convenience it can offer. But please keep your transactions short. If you must complete more than two transactions, take it inside. That’s two transaction total. If you and your four friends must go to the bank, take it inside. You are deceiving the mother behind you who has four screaming toddlers in her back seat and thought she could make a quick grab for cash for diapers. She thinks she is next in line but actually she is sixth and now she is stuck there because someone has driven up behind her. Not nice. She should pump the sound into your car.

Finally, would all your bank book updaters and bill payers please subscribe to on-line banking? Really. You could do all your banking from the comfort of your home with a nice hot cup of Timmy’s (that you got from the Timmy’s drive-thru in a very fast and friendly manner). You could take your time and not worry about the people tapping their feet behind you, shuffling papers or sighing loudly. Little Timmy wouldn’t divulge your PIN to everyone line causing to go into the bank to change your PIN. Throw away your bank books and get statements. You can even get paperless bills to cut down on the paper in your home. Then ALL ATMs can be used for cash and deposit only. I have this dream.

Jaun Valdez has been seperated from his Donkey

I am so incredibly giddy today. It is above zero today (a balmy 8 degrees) and it is Friday. Not only is it Friday, it is one day away from Saturday. Which means it is one day away from Sunday. Sunday. THE Sunday. The day The Sopranos make their return to my digital cable box!

I don’t think that I have to explain that I love the Sopranos. It’s more than love, it’s more than obsession and it is beyond my husband’s comprehension. Hey that rhymed! Anyways, I have been trying to explain my excitement to my boss all morning. He likes The Sopranos as well but not quite as much as I do. He asked me what it is about this show the contributed to my level of insanity about it. And would I please turn down the volume on my laptop; the demure woman on the phone thought he called her the “C” word.

So why do I like this show so much? Sure, the characters are great. The dialogue is fantastic. It makes laugh at things that really I wouldn’t laugh at. It’s absurd and believable all at once. But why am I so CRAZY about it?

My favourite television shows seem so diverse; The Sopranos, Gilmore Girls, Grey’s Anatomy. What is it? I think it that I like shows that have strong theme of loyalty. And while there is always people “turnin’ government witness”, it seems to be Tony’s struggle to have the peace of mind that comes with having people in your life that you know are completely loyal to you. What happened to loyalty? We live in a society where people change jobs every few years. Most people have been married more than once or at least divorced. “Friends” of celebrities are spilling their guts to tabloids for the chance to make some money. Yet, the girl in the next office quite obviously doesn’t change her shirt each day. Families move away from each other and drift apart. They fight over wills. They fight over money; they fight over who said what to whom.

So I think that I will be tuning into the Sopranos on Sunday because I too am seeking loyalty in my life. My husband is loyal; my daughter (well if I have food in my hand) is loyal. My brother is loyal. His wife is loyal. His kids are. My aunt and uncle are. But it’s just I don’t see it ALL around me.

That and I think James Gandolfini is hot.

Taking out the Trash

What do I want to say in first ever blog post? Well, really it is not my first. If you read the blurb underneath my blog title you’ll see what I mean. But, that’s neither here nor somewhere else.

I could introduce myself, but isn’t that what the “About Me” link is supposed to tell you? Oh wait, I re-directed you back to my posts to find out more about me.

Ok, here we are. Back again. More about me. Me. Me. Ok, we’ll get back to that topic another day.

What do I say? It’s the big empty page that is taunting me. I am quite sure that I am to fill it with witty comments and cleverly written anecdotes about my life. But I am not so sure that I want to do that. It’s not that I want to be “oh, so very original”. It’s just that today, I don’t want to do that. It’s not that I don’t like my life. Nope, I like it very much. It’s just that it’s not very witty or clever today. So what is my life today? Well the best thing that I said or wrote today was a comment on a friend’s terribly witty and clever blog. So today I am going to plagiarize myself. Just throw my trash out there twice today.


"Yup. It is crazy. We have perfectly good coffee (although it is no Timmy's) for free in our office building yet I insist on waiting in the drive thru line at the one and only Timmy's on Terry Fox. Why? Not only do I love Timmy's but I figure if I am going to drink the coffee anyway I should be getting something for it. “The chance to win”. So far, I have won "Please Play again" about 15 times.On another mini rant. I am compiling a book, more of a manual, on the proper drive thru etiquette specifically for Tim Horton's.

Rule #1: Yes, it is safe to leave space between you and the car ahead of you. We all know this. Except in the Tim Horton's drive thru. You must get as close as possible to the person ahead of you so that the people behind you can get off the street and stop blocking the intersection. Yes, I know. Stop blocking the intersection and wait patiently on the other side of intersection. But we all know that no one is going to risk having someone cut in line and jump 30 seconds ahead of them in the quest for crack, um I mean, coffee.

Rule #2: If you order includes more than 6 items, take it inside. The drive thru should be treated as a grab and go line.

Rule #3: This is more of a suggestion really. I would like to initiate the use of "THTD" (Tim Horton's Traffic Directors). I think that there should be two people every morning directing the line in the drive thru. Anyone who does not pull up to speaker fast enough, leaves too much space, tries to cut in line or does something else that is generally annoying by my standards will be removed from the line and suspended from the drive thru for one week. Three infractions in one month gets you a lifetime ban.

And finally if someone has $999,980 to invest with me (I have the other $20) we should open up another Timmy's in the March Road/Terry Fox area, we would make a killing. Whoever was the genius who thought only one Timmy's in the high tech sector was sufficient not really thinking clearly. They must have gotten tired of waiting in the drive thru line and missed their morning coffee."