Body parts

Note: Yeah so its a few days later and I still didn’t post Shona’s story. It’s coming, I swear. Sweetheart has taken longer at this than expected. But he was laid off on Friday so I am cutting him some slack.He promises I can post tomorrow.

So, body parts. I always thought I would be the kind of mom who is very comfortable with her body and have no trouble answering my children’s questions. Then I had a child. Amelia follows me everywhere. And a few months ago started barging into the bathroom. At first I was upset but then I thought, well isn’t this supposed to be good for potty training? So I let her come in (only for #1. I need alone time for the other). This is how our conversation goes:

Amelia: wha doin Mommy?

Me: Mommy is going pee pee (because I can’t bring myself to say urinate and I am sure she can’t pronounce it quite yet. Plus the thought of a 2 year old shouting “Urinate” in a public place while toilet training doesn’t seem that endearing to me.)

Amelia: Oh.

Crouches down and looks. You know. There.

Amelia: wha dat?

pointing and getting closer to me.

Taking a deep breath.

Me: That’s mommy’s vagina.

Amelia: ya. gina. (pronounced j-I-na)

Ok, that wasn’t so bad. She even realizes that she has one and tells you about it each time you change her diaper. However, when we are in a public restroom she will keep asking “wha dat Mommy?” louder and louder until I say, “that’s mommy’ vagina”. And I can’t whisper it either. She will get all mad and shout “wha dat?” So I have to say it loud enough for all the other users of the restroom will hear it. And then she will start singing loudly “gina, gina, gina”.

Sweetheart laughs hysterically at me every time she comes in the bathroom with me. Until. She followed him into the bathroom the other day so he opted to sit on the toilet rather than stand. And it went a little something like this:

Amelia: wha doing Daddy?

Sweetheart: Umm, Daddy’s going pee pee. (then shouting downstairs, “Joanne come and get her please, she’s in the bathroom with me”)

I naturally take my time going up the stairs.

Amelia: Hmmm. gina.

Sweetheart: Uhhh…Joanne!

Amelia: (getting mad) gina. gina. gina.(pointing angrily at him)

Sweetheart: Umm, no Daddy doesn’t have a gina.

Amelia: (getting really mad) gina. gina. gina. gina. gina.

Sweetheart : No, Daddy has a penis.

Amelia is quiet for a second and then places her hands on hips and commands….

SHOW!